March 01, 2015

FIRE DOWN BELOW by Debra Anastasia ~ NEW RELEASE & REVIEW




#‎FireDownBelow‬  

 ▴Amazon US ➜ http://amzn.to/1FC3k7q 

▴Amazon UK ➜ amzn.to/1DgCa4U 

▴Amazon AU ➜ bit.ly/1CkOCDU 

▴KoBo ➜ bit.ly/166Xtej 

▴iBooks ➜ bit.ly/1Kfvpmh 

▴B&N ➜ TBA







Dove Glitch is embarrassed about everything above her knees and below her belly button. When she has to fill a delicate, embarrassing prescription the last thing she needs is a sexy-as-hell (and brand spanking new) pharmacist behind the counter.

Johnson Fitzwell’s first day of his dream career also happens to coincide with the exact moment Dove needs her feminine meds filled. His glorious voice is way too loud–as in, he should be counting down the hits with Ryan Seacrest kind of loud. Thanks to Johnson’s handsome face and gorgeous jaw line, Dove dives headlong into her waking nightmare and asks for a vagina-scented cream.

How could she not fall for him? Dove's only active goal now is to get Johnson to kiss her right on the lips. Either set. However, his horrible girlfriend is one of many obstacles preventing her from making that fantasy a reality. When Dove defends Johnson in the most unhygienic, unconventionally gross way in the middle of a crowded restaurant, their tender, slightly tantric relationship is off to a galloping, farting start.

Each print copy of this book will be dipped in holy water by my mom, and glared at by my father as he purses his lips. Neither will help. So, drop your pants and turn to the left and cough. I hope you're not allergic to latex, because it’s time to fill your prescription. Anally.


Review by: Tera 

WHAT DID I JUST READ?
I feel itchy.. Lmao #BestWorstBookEVER

Deb delivers 
Flatulence 
Itchy ..yeasty parts
Diarrhea 
Uncomfortable bodily functions of every kind 
Crazy cats 
And one uniquely endearing man ...lol
AND MAKES YOU LIKE IT 
So ..EAT up people ..it'll taste good going in ..not sure how it'll feel..coming OUT....LMFAO 

*WARNING ...read ALONE and under no circumstances let anyone know what you're reading-this message will self-destruct in 1 minute!

5 Big "Gassy" Stars for Fire Down Below ..lol 



Review By: Lisa 

Gynazule For Everyone!


*warning: do not read this book if you have zero sense of humor!



Otherwise you can't not think it's the craziest but AWESOMELY HYSTERICAL STORY!



Debra Anastasia had me in tears laughing so hard. It couldn't of come at a better time, real life is stressful and I needed this book! The author does such an amazing job with creating such a ridiculously hilarious book yet doesn't stray from the storyline just to spit another funny out. Knowing that there is a second book coming out THRILLS ME TO PIECES!



I've read prior books from Ms. Anastasia and she actually has written my very favorite book called Poughkeepsie. If you've ever read it, it will give you a huge sense of who Debra is as a writer and most likely a person. Her heart in all her books is clearly portrayed beautifully regardless of how she decides to write it. She is a true inspiration to her peers because her talent and eclectic writing is brilliant. Thank You Ms. Anastasia for filling my heart with joy once again. This time you went to HYSTERICALLY FUNNY x INFINITY!


5 Stars 



Review by: Cristina 

The life of Dove Glitch was such an embarrassing read and had many cringing moments. The book begins when she has to fill an uncomfortable feminine prescription that she did not want anyone to know about let alone discuss it with the hot pharmacist, Johnson Fitzwell that is taking care of her order. Luck is something that is not on her side nor in her vocabulary especially ever since she had picked up her medication. 

You’re a good person. I’m sorry I crossed your path. I’m like a black cat, a ladder, and a pap smear.

OMFG!?!? WTF is this crap?!? This must read 4 stars book was such a change of scenery than the sappy, emotional stories that I am usually reading. Dove’s story had me full of tears many times in a humorously way. Her story takes you on a ride of many weird over the top moments that may or may not happen to a person in real life. I must say that there was never a dull moment and full of unease and disbelief. SMH. LOL! Seriously, pick up a copy today! You will be glad you did. ;)

4 Stars 


Oh God. We’re talking about me being naked, in the shower with cooter cream. Please world, end. Kill me.
“I know it’s not soap. I just… if it’s scented… I can’t do scented. Flowers and stuff like that. Fruit-flavored soaps make… things… burnish.” She could tell from the peeks at his face Mr. Fitzwell had never stepped foot in bath and lotion store, wanting to try the array of fun fragrances. Nor had he purchased Peppermint Candy shower gel, foamed up his nether regions, and felt like he had dipped them in lava. Dove crossed and uncrossed her legs at the memory.
Mr. Fitzwell seemed concerned. “Okay, just a heads-up. It’s definitely not good to put any fruits or plant life near your genitals.” He made a V with his hands and formed his own pretend vagina in front of his pants.
Dove covered her eyes and tried to defend herself because now she could hear the sickly older woman beating her supporters with a purse.
Dove’s mumbling got louder with her embarrassment. “I don’t put weird things down… there. Just make sure that the cream’s vagina-scented. Just plain. For vaginas.” She kept her eyes on the counter. 



There are a lot of eyes in Debra Anastasia’s house in Maryland. First, her own creepy peepers are there, staring at her computer screen. She’s made two more sets of eyes with her body, and the kids they belong to are amazing. The poor husband is still looking at her after 17 years of marriage. At least he likes to laugh. Then the freaking dogs are looking at her—six eyeballs altogether, though the old dog is blind. And the cat watches her too, mostly while knocking stuff off the counter and doing that internal kitty laugh when Deb can’t catch the items fast enough. 

           Debra has a smattering of books in a few genres. There are two in the Seraphim Series and three in the Poughkeepsie Brotherhood Series with a prequel, Poughkeepsie Begins in the near future. Fire Down Below is the first in the comedic Gynzaule Series. The second, Fire in the Hole, will be published in late 2015. The Revenger, a dark paranormal romance will debut this summer. And last, a novella called Late Night with Andres is special because 100% of the proceeds go to breast cancer research. (So go get it right now, please!) You can find her at DebraAnastasia.com and on Twitter @Debra_Anastasia. But be prepared...

 
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