FMR Book Grind: The Chronicles of Moxie by Z.B. Heller

Moxie Summers is a curvy, twenty-six year-old teacher who has not had the best track record with relationships. In a drunken stupor at a bar, she meets Miles who turns out to be her sparing equal, until she vomits all over his shoes. Just when she thinks things couldn’t get worse, her dream man turns out to be the single father of the newest student in her class. While fighting an attraction for Miles, Moxie’s conniving stepmother tries to advise Moxie she needs to get in shape if she’s ever going to catch the man of her dreams. To make matters worse a Girl Scout plans Moxie’s demise, a surprise party makes everyone blush, and then there was the skunk… Can Moxie overcome all the Girl Scout cookies, food poisoning and a showdown at Costco to get to Miles?

SMASHWORDS | AMAZON CA

~ Excerpt ~

I put on the red dress that I had picked out right before we ran into Miles. I hadn’t shown Ryan and Miles any of the outfits that I had tried yet because I was petrified to go out there. I looked at myself one more time in the mirror. I normally wasn’t that self-conscious about my weight, but I was a little nervous about what Miles would think. But the dress looked great. It curved around me like it was made exactly for my body. It was sleeveless, with a low cut top that framed my girls perfectly. The material hugged around my hips and my ass in a way that would make J.Lo jealous. I took a deep breath and stepped out of the dressing room. I looked at Ryan first. He had an enormous smile plastered on his face.

“You look smokin’!” he beamed.

I turned to look at Miles, but his lips were in a thin line and his arms were crossed.

“You don’t like it?”

“It’s fine,” he replied.

“Fine?” Ryan screeched. “She is guaranteed to get bonked in that dress!”

I decided that stabbing Ryan in the throat would be too kind of a demise. I glanced at Miles, who for some reason looked like he was going to combust any minute.

“I’ll go and pick out a great pair of shoes to go with that dress. Just hang tight,” Ryan stated and hurried to the shoe section.

I returned my eyes to Miles.

“What?” I demanded. “Is it totally hideous? Do I have green stuff in my teeth?” I held my hand to my mouth.

Miles got up from his seat and began walking slowly towards me. I started to back up until we both ended up in the small dressing room. I felt the air suddenly get tight. Miles put his hand on my hip and pulled me close to him. I could smell the peppermint on his breath.

“You’re right,” he said in a low voice. “I don’t like the dress.”

“Why not?” I asked, thinking I didn’t want the answer.

“Because I don’t like the idea of anyone else seeing you in this dress.”

I was gaping at him. I started to feel self-conscious.

“I suppose that’s very nice of you, to save me the embarrassment of people seeing me in this dress. Especially since you think it’s as pretty as a hippo’s ass.”

“I don’t want anyone else seeing you in this dress because I don’t like the idea of anyone looking at how the dress curves around your sweet ass. Or maybe it’s the fact that your tits stand out as if they are offering anyone to touch them.”

My jaw dropped down so far, I swear it hit the floor. I couldn’t believe he was saying that to me. But then I remembered the previous night, and how he’d turned cold on me when “Hun” called. I felt annoyed. He had no right acting like he was.

“Then I suppose the dress is perfect for what I’m trying to communicate to my date,” I said with my jaws clenched.

He lifted his hand and put it into my hair. His blue eyes connected to mine and he was taking deeper breaths, as if to control himself. His phone started to ring.

“Shit,” he barked quietly. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and put it to his ear. But he was still looking at me and hadn’t let go of my hip. “Yup,” he answered. “Fine, I’m on my way.”

He let go of my hip and ran his hand through his hair, looking frustrated. All I could do was stand there, feeling beyond irritated. He really had a big set of balls to think he could pull the shit he just had and run back to his “Hun”.

“I have to go. Don’t wear the dress.” And he turned out of the dressing room as Ryan walked back in with a pair of silver heels.

“What the fuck happened there?” Ryan asked, seeming confused.

“Nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing,” I retorted. “Give me the shoes. This is definitely the dress.”

If you are in the mood for some laughs, this book is just the ticket. The Chronicles of Moxie is the tale of a larger than life, curvy and full figured woman searching for Mr. Right. If you guessed her name is Moxie, you would be right; her name fits her to a "T". She can be loud and very brassy which one of the reasons I adored this book.

Moxie is a kindergarten teacher by day that likes to cut loose with a few drinks at the local pub. Her dating disasters give new meaning to train wreck. You get a warm and fuzzy feeling when she meets someone who accepts her for who she is - an intelligent caring woman. So it always goes - all good things must come to an end or do they?

Moxie has a jealous co-worker that wants Miles for herself. Will Moxie's self-doubts cause the downfall of her relationship with Miles? You'll have to read the book to find out.

My final thoughts on the book: (1) I dislike Moxie's step-mother; (2) Moxie believed the jealous co-worker too easily; (3) I'd liked TCOM to have been longer - I love the dialogue between Moxie and her zany friends; (4) Moxie is one those characters that you need to continue on in another book - we need more Moxie! Maybe another book(s) between this one and marriage and then another in her adventures in motherhood. What I'd love to see most is a re-telling of her dating adventures to her teenage/young adult daughter. So Z.B. can you make my dreams come true?

Review by Carmie

As a little girl it was always a dream for Z.B. Heller to become She-Ra Princess of Power. Since this dream was unobtainable, she spent what was probably way to long in college trying to "find herself". Becoming an artist scratched the creative itch until the stories in her head were getting to be to loud for her to get anything else accomplished. She lives in St. Louis with her husband, son and Flemish Giant rabbit Chloe. In her spare time she likes to read, stalk celebrities on Twitter and create the type of art that people scratch their heads about.